Being THE family historian can sometimes be a lonely job, a frustrating hobby, often a very rewarding endeavor, but rarely, if ever, dangerous.

Well today I faced danger - not the life threatening kind of danger but the people disappointing or hurting kind.

Leave it to Facebook. Most of the time, for me at least, Facebook has been incredibly helpful in tracking down possible cousins.  In fact several of my most rewarding finds of living relatives have been as a result of diligent searching on that site.

But a couple of days ago, I got a "Friend" request from someone I did not know and I had no clue why she requested a "friend" connection.  And it wasn't one that was obviously spam.

But I was reviewing my Facebook messages this morning - and lo and behold - there was  a message from her. It was a short message, but in it she stated that one of my cousins was her father, and the father never married her mother, etc. etc. They apparently met at a nightclub and the rest was history.

Now the dilemma - If I was truly interested in logging in my database every person that had a known and substantial DNA relationship with myself and my family - I would respond to her, get the facts as she knows them - with dates and mother's full name, etc.

But I am not going to do that. Why - because apparently she had tried to connect with her "father" and was denied the connection. Now my cousin is a fantastic fellow and not one to shirk his "duties" but apparently he does not wish to explore this connection and that is his right. I emailed my cousin, let him know of the attempted connection and left it at that.

So maybe - having every little detail isn't so important.

What do you think?  What would you do?

I've been thinking (and writing) a lot about what really drives me in this hunt for ancestors that I have been engaged in for some time.  And it comes down to one and only one thing "The Stories of my Ancestors."  Oh yes, there is date research to be performed and evidence to be gathered that GG Uncle Isaac did indeed marry Carrie, and when and where they were married, etc.  But it is their STORIES that matter to me.

So the challenge is - how do I present a story; how do I write it; what information do I include? All that is well and good - but where does the story come from, and what will resonate with the reader? Let's explore this... Below are two examples of photos of the human heart:

If you want to read about the facts, you would want to have writing akin to the photo on the right - full of facts and technical terms and citations.

If you want to read about the mysteries of the heart as it relates to human emotions and feelings, etc. you would choose the photo on the left.

So what kind of writer are you and what do you aspire your family history stories to be like? I will tell you that only the heart on the left inspires me. I do not like AT ALL family history stories that only provide dates and facts. To me that is like reading the dictionary.

Two examples that I would like to share are as follows:

I wrote a post several months ago about what I called The Memorable Seventeen. It is all text, no photos and full of facts (but not dates), yet it provides a heartfelt message that is what the article is all about : 

Every one of these 17 matters.  Every one of these 17 deserves to be remembered. Documenting their lives and their stories is why family history research is so important - in EVERY family.  If we don't, who will?

So an article can be presented with primarily facts, but does not need to be burdened with birth, marriage, death dates and locations to be interesting.

The second article is one that has much more "flowery" writing and writes about the History of a Family Heirloom. It wraps the story of the heirloom around its possible creation and is definitely heartfelt, and presents little facts.  And the writer closes the article with "... It matches absolutely nothing.  It's worth nothing to most.  And it means the world to me." Certainly a story worth reading and enjoying.

So what is your style? I know what I like to read and I know what I like to write. So think hard and long about your readers and what will motivate them to read your articles and stories - because in addition to honoring your ancestors - you do want people to read about them - don't you?

And furthermore ... what kind of heart do you like?